iPhone 6 Promises at Least One Improvement over the iPhone 5S

iPhone 6 Promises at Least One Improvement over the iPhone 5S

‘Reception’ to the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus has been very strong so far, as anticipated, and along with the release of iOS 8, iPhone enthusiasts have been bowled over by more new features that most upgrades before.

Both the 6 and 6 plus are a thinner design and the rounded edges are welcome news by global accident and emergency staff as ‘Buzz my Butt, Fool’ app climbs the app store charts for the second month running.

As well as the perkier A8 chip, built on second-generation 64-bit desktop-class technology, battery life is said to be twice that of the 5S model, with a new 128GB storage option, set to be the choice for budding music and video fans. For people who hate themselves and others, there is also a less than mediocre album pre-loaded by UFucking2 of all the ‘cool’ bands in the world.

The fingerprint sensor introduced with the 5S continues through to both new models, but this time its joined by a new blink and yawn detector which in turn posts direct Facebook status updates, including; “[NAME] just blinked at [LOCATION]” and “I just walked [NUMBER] paces from [LOCATION] to [LOCATION] with [FRIEND NAME] and then yawned a bit” and a wide array of other useful Facebook updates you’d want to share with people you vaguely know.

Fans of incognito browsing will warm to the 6’s left hand browsing feature, which enables the user the full usage of their right hand, and with a few pre-programmed expletives during the iPhone setup stages, which might include ‘SH**”’, or ‘Oh F***’ almost instantly bring up family friendly web pages, should the user be disturbed.

The iStatus feature, an extension of Siri, will undoubtedly prove a big hit, particularly on London’s underground at rush hour. A shake of the device triggers a dummy phone call. Broadcasting barely audible dialogue, the user will be asked a series of themed questions relating to how much they are earning, what car they are driving, where they are going on holiday and who they are seeing at the moment, questions to which they can respond loudly in public, in order to evoke impressed reactions.

Overall, a very impressive piece of kit. Improvements over the previous 5S model can be counted almost on one hand and the device should help people no end to avoid interacting with friends and family and in some cases, may improve their chances of procreation very, very slightly, although Apple do not guarantee this and clearly warn users against spilling fluids onto their phone.

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